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1. Keep the neck well oiled. 2. Study its possibilities. 3. Practice two hours daily in extending and re-adjusting the neck. 4. Cultivate a refined expression for modest sights. 5. A sympathetic look for shocking ones 6. Use your own judgment for ridiculous ones. 7. Eat plenty of nectarines, green turtle soup and rubberneck clams. 8. Walk in the rear on all occasions. 9. Remember a good look at a good thing is good. 10. On windy days take your lunch so you will not miss anything. 11. Avoid discussing your "views". 12. In looking at tall buildings keep the mouth closed. 13. A quick glance is more effective than a fixed gaze. 14. Don't stretch the neck unless you can restore it to its original position in two seconds. 15. Avoid a complete twist. The larynx has troubles of its own. 16. In looking at old maids use smoked glasses and close one eye. 17. In looking at grass widows use smoked glasses and close both eyes. 18. Keep a sharp lookout for things that are yet to happen. 19. Wear rubber heels - very effective when shaking with laughter. 20. After you have seen about all, recoil the neck and retire. |
