Front:
watch for these
EARLY WARNING SIGNS OF
MALIGNANT REAGANOMA
(commonly called Turning into a Republican)
1 SYMPATHIZING WITH ARGUMENTS SUPPORTING
NUCLEAR POWER
BELIEF THAT SULLIVAN PRINCIPLES WILL ABOLISH
APARTHEID IN SOUTH AFRICA
3 HIGH RATIO OF UNDER-THE-BREATH MUMBLING
"GET A JOB" EACH TIME STREET PERSON
ASKS FOR MONEY
4 ESCALATING DISUKE OF ARGUMENTS INCLUDING
WORDS LIKE "IMPERIALIST PIGS" AND "BOURGEOIS
PRIVILEGE"
5 RESIGNATION THAT NUCLEAR WEAPONS ARE A
NECESSARY EVIL
6 FEELING DESPAIR THAT LIBERALS WILL NEVER GET
THEIR ACT TOGETHER (MONDALE ?!)
7 LINKING LOUIS FARA KHAN WITH JESSE JACKSON,
INEXTRICABLY
8 FINALLY ACCEPTING GOLFING INVITATION
9 AUGMENTING DISLIKE OF TEENAGERS; DENIAL OF
REALITY THAT YOU WERE JUST AS OBNOXIOUS ONCE
10 RESENTMENT OF POLLUTION CONTROL LAWS THAT
AFFECT YOU & HIGHER PRICE OF UNLEADED GAS
IF YOU EXHIBIT ANY OF THESE SYMPTOMS,
VISIT A SHOPPING MALL IN SPRINGFIELD, OHIO,
LISTEN TO JERRY FALWELL IN A ROOM FILLED
WITH HIS FOLLOWERS; CONTEMPLATE THE FACT
THAT "USA TODAY" IS AMERICA'S BEST SELLING
NEWSPAPER; OR ENVISION WHO OUR NEXT
SUPREME COURT JUDGES WILL BE
Jennifer Berman 1985
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